It's just...too hard!

Here's the problem. Too much material. Hold your breath because here's a summary.

That stuff you've read about South America is true but not completely. Banos is very cool. The Andes are awesome (in the original undiluted definition). Criminals are rampant and I have something to warn YOU ALL about. Hamburgers here suck unless you go to the smallest restaurant.

Indigenous people are very poor AND very rich. Pedestrians go stealth when they step off the curb. All the school children - ALL the kids wear uniforms to school. Catholic mass is packed from 6 am to 8 pm. Beeping your horn says get-the-fuck-out-of-the-way. (signal your intention).

Car alarms are a musical instrument. In the older buildings you must wrap your used toilet paper and place in the garbage. Tourist toilets are pay to use. Toilet paper is sold at the door.

Elementary school teacher's average salary is $300/month. Hmmmm.....too negative here...

Latin men and women are the most attractive people in the world. German tourists are all young, tall, bold and attractive. My laundry woman is the sweetest most patient person I have met. Expats meet in certain bars and are from everywhere. My hotel has a lobby dog that has a brilliant smile.

The gondola ride up to Pichincha volcano goes to 15K feet and they have a doctor on station. (sea level wuss's think about that for a second). The view from my room balcony is stupendous. There was an earthquake at 6 am that caused me to jump from my bed.

An eruption of Tungarhua volcano during my time in Banos caused a thick coat of ash on cars. Hostals are for young people only. The climate is San Francisco. A typical Ecuatorian meal includes potatos, rice, and corn.

I was charmed by a taxi driver who, on realizing that he could not legally drive the wrong way down a one way street, put his car in reverse and backed down that street until I was in front of my hotel door.

Here's my most shameful admission: Commercials for the Grammies are played constantly.

The most charming excerpts are of Lady Gaga.